The right choice

My hand, reaching

How do you make an important decision? Whether to change jobs, move cities, end a relationship, start a family... Or even a smaller decision? Whether to attend an event, take up an extra project, spend money on something you want...

I used to struggle with this a lot, and would find myself Googling systems and methods for decision-making. There’s the pros and cons list, the coin flip, the ask a friend, the gut feeling, the what-are-your-values, the Vroom-Yetton and Recognition-Primed and Bounded-Rationality models... (don’t ask). 

Over time, I discovered that the reason I’d get stuck is not so much that I didn’t have a formula for making choices, but that I was suffocated by fear of the unknown.

Whatever I decide, I won't be okay. 

That was what I believed. So when I was choosing whether to travel for a year in 2018 (I did), or to leave my law job (I did), or to relocate to Bali (I did, then came back after two months)... I was afraid (and here the mind can be dramatic) that my world would end and I’d never again feel happy.

Turns out—not the case!

I’ve learnt now: Things always work out. One reason is because we make them work out. We're inherently resourceful creatures with a biological imperative to survive, and, I believe, to thrive. As the psychologist Ellen Langer once said: It’s not about making the right decision, it’s about making the decision right. 

To this I’d like to add: There is ultimately no right decision, nor wrong decision.

That's the second reason why I believe things always work out. Life is intelligent. It gives us what we need. Why? Because it does. There's no other way I can put it. A leaf falls. The river flows. I often feel there’s a magical quality in the bizarre unfolding of things.

Don't you think? Haven’t all the things you thought would end your world eventually worked out—perhaps even given you a gift? Haven’t all your fretful leaps into the unknown paid off, even a bit? Haven’t you a little trust in the Universe?

I recommend some trust. Decisions aren't always easy, but try this: Trust that whatever you decide, you, and life, will take care of things, in the way that you, and life, do, and it will happen in time, in the flow, and with a dusting of magic...

So—let go, and make your decision. Or better yet, let the decision make you. Either way, you can’t get it wrong.